After some soul-searching, I decided to release MRB’s (Mark’s Right Brain) comments. He took the time out to express his views, and although I don’t agree with everything he says, he does make valid arguments from his perspective. He taught me a good lesson. If you put yourself out there, not everyone’s gonna’ love you. That’s just how it is. 😉
He reminded me about how pride can get in the way. Technology has enabled us to put ourselves out there even more, and we do have a choice about what kind of digital footprint we want to leave for ourselves and our children.
The biggest light bulb that MRB lit was that I think all of us “bloggers” have a bit of narcissism in us. 😉 In Wikipedia it says this:
Freud argues that healthy narcissism is an essential part in normal development. The love of the parents for their child and their attitude towards their child could be seen as a revival and reproduction of their own narcissism according to Freud. The child has an omnipotence of thought. The parents stimulate that feeling because in their child they see the things that they have never reached themselves. Compared to neutral observations, the parents tend to overvalue the qualities of their child.
WOW! Quite interesting, indeed!
I appreciate MRB for having me “man up” to my words and taking responsibility for them. Thanks, Mark! 😉
Being a Dad is really special. Father’s Day definitely takes on new meaning when you become a father. On Friday, Malachy’s school had a Father’s Day Bagel Breakfast. Malachy was so excited. (Me. too! 😉 ) It was extra cool, because later that day, he had an early birthday celebration with a classmate, since he’s not going to be in school in July. We shared a bagel and a doughnut and some apple juice. He gave me a Father’s Day card that he made in school. 😉 Very cool.
On Father’s Day, Shien and Malachy made me a Bagel Breakfast (yes, I love bagels!), took me out to Brunch, took a trip to Queens to my sister’s new place where my dad was hanging out for a bit, and then let me watch the U.S. Open (even though it was kinda’ uneventful) at my brother-in-law’s, where we had dinner. Shien gave me a canvas print of a picture of me and Malachy that she took at the Chinese New Year parade. 😉
Later that evening, I saw that another blogger commented on my site, and it’s the first one I chose not to “publish.” He commented that he was vexed about people like me who put their kid on public display, as if he were a “trophy child.” He said, “The only thing you will accomplish is producing is an overindulged child with an exaggerated view of himself by the time he hits adolescence. He will think that everything he does is special and important and will then be rendered demoralized when the rest of the world doesn’t agree.” It could have really bothered me, but it didn’t, because I know that he doesn’t get it. 😉
It’s definitely not about showing off my son to the world; he’s not an object on display. It’s about a father who is so proud to be a dad and is in awe of being a parent. It’s truly a gift and a blessing. I feel that if I don’t take the time out to stop and think, then I’ll start taking being a Dad for granted.
As for Malachy becoming overindulged and having an exaggerated view of himself one day? No way. My mom and dad taught me humility, and Shien and I are doing our best to keep him “in check.” 😉
In this video, Malachy requested that I put it on TimeOutDad, so how could I refuse? 😉 Shien has exposed him to so many delicious meals and varieties of food. One of the consequences, however, is that he will then have cravings or request things on the fly all the time. Some mornings, when we don’t have what he wants, he’ll have a mini-breakdown or throw a tantrum because Shien can’t make what he wants. Sometimes it’s because she doesn’t have the time to prepare what he wants or because we simply don’t have what he wants readily available. Just yesterday, I heard him asking Shien for cheese curds! I don’t even know what that is! (Actually Shien just told me that he’s been asking for it for a couple of weeks, now.) When did he last have it? He had it in the Fall! His memory is UNBELIEVABLE!
I came home today and no one was home. Where did they go? Guess? I called Shien up and they were out buying cheese curds! Ai ya! 😉 Shien told me the guy selling the cheese said it was nice to see someone with so much enthusiasm about cheese. Malachy was so excited and jumping for joy for cheese curds!
I can’t wait for him to be able to cook on his own! 😉 Mommy and Daddy can wake up one day to Malachy’s creations… YUMMY! 🙂
Malachy was invited to a classmate’s birthday party last weekend to a private beach club… in Queens! 🙂 I never even knew such a place existed in Queens. It was literally in his classmate’s backyard. This was Malachy’s second time at a beach, where he got to play near the water. Both times, if we didn’t stop him, he’d probably just run right into the ocean. 😉 He LOVES the sand and he LOVES the water. I’ve never been much of a beach-goer, but he and Mommy really like it. Unless I’m playing golf, I usually prefer being indoors. 😉 Never liked putting on lotion, having sand all over, and just baking in the sun with half-clothed people all around. Seeing Malachy so comfortable and enjoying himself so much definitely makes it less about me and more about him. The weather was pretty awesome, and we had a great day! 🙂
Malachy was so excited when he found out that we adopted a tree. Our community got dozens of new young trees as part of a green initiative and offered everyone the opportunity to adopt one. This was another “if it wasn’t for Malachy thing.” He has brought so much to our lives, and now, A TREE in the city! When we asked him to name it, he said, “Tree.” We were like, “Can you be a little more specific?” He said, “Uh… Red Tree.” Our friend, Sibyl, suggested as a nickname, “R.T.” Still not sure where he got the “Red” from… There’s actually a bird’s nest on it already!
Malachy’s excitement can be so infectious, so today, after dinner, when I said we needed to go water the tree, he was SO happy and ready. 😉
Another great “because of Malachy thing” is the fact that I’m putting to use things that I had stored away and hadn’t used in years. Now, I can put some of these things to use again. I had bought this hand pump water sprayer years ago for cleaning my car that I kept in the city. Never would have imagined that we would be using it to water a tree! 😉 Malachy LOVED it! The spray bottle and watering can was fun, but for him, THIS was AWESOME! Feel so blessed to have so many cool surprises and shared learning experiences as a family. 🙂
because Dads need to take time out to STOP and THINK…