Category Archives: laughter

Time Out for the Tooth Fairy…

A Note to the Tooth Fairy...
Missing Tooth #1 and #2...

So, Malachy’s second tooth came out today.  It was super loose, and after school, on the way to piano, he was able to extract his own tooth.  The first tooth required some help from Mom, along with some tooth floss and some cheerleading from Dad.  For his first tooth, he received five Washingtons and a geode.  The geode was a last minute addition, and when he woke up that morning after, he was quite excited about the note, the cash, and the geode.  After hammering the geode, we were left with mostly crushed rock and dust.  It was a dud, and it left me and Malachy a bit unsatisfied. (Hence, the note he wrote to the Tooth Fairy today.)  A couple of days later, I had a special Ninjago delivery via the Tooth Ninja, but he didn’t buy it.  He knew it was from me.  But, as you can see from the note to the Tooth Fairy, he still believes! 🙂

So, Mommy wanted to buy time to get a gift from the Tooth Fairy, so she told Malachy we would clean the tooth out tomorrow and leave it for the Tooth Fairy tomorrow night.  We explained to him that the Tooth Fairy didn’t want a bloody tooth.  After all, he had cleaned his first one for her.  He went to bed and was fine with waiting one more night…

Right before we went to bed, I asked Shien where Tooth #2 was.  She said she thought Malachy left it with me, and I told her that he did show me the tooth but he had left it with her when she was cooking in the kitchen.  From the kitchen, I could hear the rustling noise of a plastic bag every now and then.  I asked Shien what was going on.  She tells me, “I think I might have thrown it away.”  I’m like, “WHAT?”

Turns out Shien had given Malachy a tissue for the tooth when she was cooking, so he could clean it out with her later on.  So, he left the tooth in the tissue on the kitchen counter.  Lo and behold, when Shien was cleaning the kitchen after dinner, she threw the tissue with the tooth into the plastic trash bag!  Thus, the rustling plastic bag.

When I went to the kitchen looked in the plastic bag, it looked GROSS!  Shien had poured out a 14 oz. jar of old hot chocolate powder mix into the trash bag (she once saw worms in another can of old powder mix), and since it got wet, the trash inside was covered and doused with wet and dry powder mix all over.  I got a flashlight and tried to sift through it by squeezing the bag and trying to feel for the tiny tooth, but no luck.  I even tried using another plastic bag as a glove to squeeze through some of the trash, but it just felt sandy and muddy from all the powder mix.

Shien suggested that we re-use Tooth #1 and just tell Malachy that she cleaned it out for him.  After all, he cashed in Tooth #1, so he probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.  That made me feel uncomfortable.  It felt wrong.  It wasn’t honest.  I know. I know.  The Tooth Fairy isn’t real, so why not just let him cash in Tooth #1 again, right?  I couldn’t go to sleep knowing that Tooth #2 was in the trash, and that we were going to give him Tooth #1 again for the Tooth Fairy! 🙁

So, I went back to the kitchen.  I got another plastic bag out.  I got a latex glove out.  The plan was to transfer the trash from the yucky bag to another empty plastic bag.  The question was what to do with all the dry hot chocolate powder in the trash, which made it impossible to look through the trash?  I must say the one good thing about the hot chocolate powder mix was that it took away any garbage smell! 🙂  I figured the only way to get rid of the mix in the trash was to dissolve it in water!

Next, I cleared the sink, made sure the sink strainer was in place, and proceeded to fill the plastic bag which was filled with trash and powder with water, in the sink.  Stuff started floating up in the plastic bag, and now, it looked like I had a huge bag of hot chocolate drink with floating trash instead of marshmallows!  I slowly transferred the floating debris into another plastic bag, and proceeded with emptying all the trash out of the plastic bag.  I found a few pieces of minced garlic that looked like Tooth #2, but I couldn’t find it.  All the dried powder was soon dissolved, but there was also coffe grinds in the trash, too.  That doesn’t all quite dissolve like the hot chocolate powder mix.  Ai ya!  Chicken bones, wet paper towels, tissues, rice, broccoli, oh my!  When the bag was almost emptied, I decided to just pour the rest out in the sink and soak it all out.  YUCK!  The latex glove got wet inside, so I decided to take it off.  Besides, wearing the glove made it harder to feel for the tooth.  So, there I was with my bare hands feeling through the garbage in the sink and scraps in the sink strainer, feeling for the tooth.  After a while, VOILA!  I found it!  It was mixed in with some of the trash and coffee grinds.  I made sure it wasn’t just another piece of chopped garlic.  It was indeed Tooth #2!  I cleared out the rest of the trash from the sink, and now I had a cleaner bag of trash, without all the hot chocolate powder mix!  Move over Toothy Fairy.  Tooth Daddy has come to the rescue!  Oh, what a night! 🙂

Can you see Tooth #2 on the counter?

Time Out for Jokes…

Malachy LOVES jokes, but lately, it seems like the joke is often on me. I remember watching the TV show as a kid, starring Bill Cosby, “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” Now, I’m living it! 😉

I posted some of these on Facebook, but needed to share them here…

Today, on the way to school…
On many an occasion, Malachy’s been asking people when they are going to have a baby, so I tried to put an end to it once and for all…
Me: Malachy, not every couple who gets married has a baby.
MAL: Oh, you mean not all Moms have babies?
Me: (Pause) No, all Mommies have babies, but not all married couples have babies or might not want to have a baby.
MAL: Oh, I get it. Not all woman have PMS, right?

Guess where he first learned about PMS? Over a year ago, from Katy Perry’s song, “HOT N COLD.” UNBELIEVABLE…

One evening, after dinner…
MAL: So, Mommy, do you think you can make an exception today? Can I have some Hexagon Doze later, after dinner?
ME: Some what??? (PAUSE) Ohhhh, I got it! You mean, Häagen-Dazs.
MAL: Oh, yeah. That’s it!!!

While washing up before dinner…
So, I was going over the importance of washing your hands after using the bathroom. I was telling him that he could get himself or others sick if he doesn’t wash his hands.
MAL: Oh, you’re right, Dad. We wouldn’t want to give the computer a virus, right?

After we received a Science Experiment Kit from Amazon… (…
On the box, in small print, it reads, “Packed with Hair-Raising Experiments!”
After reading the box to himself…
MAL: What is this? Are we going to grow hair or something?

After picking him up from school…
I pack up his folder and I see a note written from him, to me and Shien…
MAL: Read it, Dad! 🙂


Time Out for Halloween!

As a kid, who doesn’t LOVE Halloween?  As an adult, I started dreading it…  until Malachy came along. 😉  This Halloween, I found the perfect costume online… Chinese Take Out!  The giant chopsticks weren’t included. 😉 Found them in Chinatown for $1.50! For the past year, whenever Shien has class in the evening, Malachy and I have ordered Ming’s for take out!  Malachy and I call it date night.  😉  They are really nice there and the food is pretty good for Chinese food.  We usually get some kind of appetizer like dumplings or spring rolls, some Beef Chow Fun, a small soup, and some vegetable dish with rice.  Malachy also always asks for a cold beverage, like Lychee or Longan or Chocolate slushies.  They add little pieces of gelatin to it too, so it’s quite yummy.

Malachy was SO excited ALL weekend, as Halloween was on a Sunday.  For us, it started on Friday.  Malachy’s school had a Halloween celebration, and I volunteered to read.  I read and sang with EIGHT classes in a row! 😉  I was able to “play guitar” with my Droid X attached to a Mic, and then the class played some Musical Chairs, while I played music from an iPod touch.   I think it was the first time for some of the kids.  Very cool!  Malachy’s Po Po and Gong Gong came to visit just for this occasion.  They made New York into a pit stop before traveling overseas.  Malachy and I quickly made his Po Po a costume on Friday morning, since she was going to march in the school parade with him.  I found some of the recycled brown paper wrapping that comes with deliveries, and we made a big bandage with it! 😉

On Saturday, we got to take a little break, but then on Sunday, all the festivities started up again, as our community has an annual HUGE Halloween blast with lots of activities.  The activity that exhausted me was the bouncy inflatable slides that they rented.  The problem was that they were SO vertical and Malachy couldn’t climb up to the top by himself.  So, I had to get in there and attempt to get him to the top.  It was so tall, that I had to climb and push, and he wasn’t helping me one bit. 😉  He kept cracking up, as I tried to hurl him to the top.  I slid back down with him a few times (failed attempts), and kept trying to climb and throw him up at the same time.  My back was sore for a few days, but it’s all good now.  WHEW! 🙂

In terms of the candy, his FAVORITE part, of course.  It lasts us for the year and we wind up not even eating it all! 😉  After a week or so, we put it out of sight and revisit it every now and then.  This year Malachy dubbed the candy bucket he got from his Po Po, a BOOket, since it looks like a ghost and glows in the dark.

Time Out for, “How Two Rights Can Make a Wrong!”

Graphic by Chris @ Daddy Doctrines


Two Rights = Wrong!

I picked up Malachy from school today. When we got home, he told me he wanted to go straight to the playground. I told him we could definitely go for a little bit. As I pushed the stroller to the gates, I looked down and noticed his shoes. I was confused for a second. I said, “Malachy! Take a look at your shoes!” He looked at them and was like, “Oh.” I asked him if anyone had noticed the entire day, and he didn’t seem very sure. Maybe the kids? Definitely not Mommy and definitely not the teachers. Otherwise, someone would have let me know.
We wound up not going to the playground until later. After all, how could I let him go to the playground with two right feet?” Ai ya! 😉 Shien laughed when I showed her the pictures. She said she had told him to put on his shoes on his own this morning. I’m thinking it must have been somewhat dark? One is SO MUCH SHINIER that the other!

Shien said she would have brought him to the playground, anyways, with those shoes on. I was like, “NO WAY!” First, what would other parents think of me as a Dad, letting him run around with two right feet? I mean, it would have been different if he wore two different shoes that actually were correctly fitted, but definitely not like that… 😉 Then again, he we hadn’t gone to the playground, no one would have ever known about the two right shoes that were oh so wrong! 🙂


Time Out for Laughter! ;)

artwork by Chris of The Daddy Doctrines

They say that laughter is the best medicine.  Why then don’t we laugh more often?  With children, laughter comes so easily.  We are able to laugh at ourselves and we quickly learn not to take ourselves too seriously. We just let go.  Perhaps, if our kids ran the show more often instead of us, we’d live in a happier world.  Perhaps instead of watching the news every night, we should just watch videos of laughter! 😉
Our children are a constant reminder that it’s okay to laugh.  Seriously!   LOL! 

Time Out for CAMP!

Since I had the summer off, I decided to start a one-man Summer Camp for Malachy.  He dubbed me “Camp Dad,” and he dubbed himself, “Camp Son.”  Instead of spending over a grand and putting him in a summer program, I thought to myself, “Wait, I CAN DO THIS!”  We would have more flexibility in schedule.  We could go on a Family trip and do other fun things together.  Malachy LOVED the idea. 😉

His first request was to have a campfire and roasted marshmallows.  I don’t know what possessed me to promise him one.  As July drew near, he got more and more excited about the idea of a campfire and marshmallows.   I started to fret, and thought to myself, “How are we going to do this in the City?”  A few days before our Camp was supposed to take off, I actually did a Google Search for Campfire in Manhattan, Camfire in NYC.  Guess what?  I found one!  I found something that said, “Beach Campfire!”  It was going to happen on July 2 at Jacob Riis Park, from 7:30pm-9:30pm.  I asked Shien and she said, “Sure!”  Still, I thought, maybe it was going to be a big fire, and we wouldn’t be able to toast marshmallows.  We kept telling Malachy that if it didn’t happen at the beach, we  would toast it at home by candlelight.

At the Beach with PoPo

I called a couple of days in advance just to make sure it was for real.  I got the car from Staten Island, and we went after dinner.  As usual, I relied too heavily on GPS.  It took us through local traffic, and I was so confused because it said it was in Queens online, and we were driving through local traffic in Brooklyn.  I thought it was going to take us to the wrong place.  Anyways, when we got there, NO CAMPFIRE!  I kept figuring it was the July 4th weekend, and that they just decided to cancel it.  There were a few people around, and we walked around the beach for a little bit and decided to stay just a short while and then go home… 🙁

"There's A Hole in the Beach!"

I tried calling the number a couple of times that I had called 2 days earlier.  No answer.  I kept looking far off in the distance, and saw a group of people.  I decided I had to check it out to see if that could possibly be it.  IT WAS!  I couldn’t run back to tell them, because it’s SO HARD to walk fast in the sand.  I called PoPo, and told her the great news.  Malachy was SO excited! 🙂  He got to have his roasted marshmallows and even a hot dog!  There was some even some campfire singing; the weather couldn’t have been more perfect.  Unbelievable!  Another thing I could never have imagined.  A campfire in NYC, at the beach!  SO COOL! 😉

Toasting Marshmallows at the Beach!
First Beach Campfire EVER for all of us!

Time Out for IM…

Malachy on AIM...

Malachy started Instant Messaging before he was 3, mostly with his uncle and grandparents. In a previous post, he actually assumed my identity! 😉 His uncle thought he was chatting with me.
He always loved letters, so he naturally loved the keyboard and typing away. When he got older (can’t believe I just typed the word “older”), he learned that the Mac could use the Chinese Pin Yin system and type out Chinese characters. He LOVED that, too! He can now type on his own, and he will sometimes switch back between English and Chinese, just for fun. When it’s Chinese, he’ll just insert random characters. Sometime, he’ll ask me what he just typed in Chinese, and I’m like, “I don’t know. Go ask Mommy! 😉 ”
Tonight, his uncle was feeling a bit down, so before bedtime, I suggested that he call his Uncle Chris. He tried calling twice, but it was so loud on the other end, and it hung up twice. So, first, he left his uncle a voice message telling him he shouldn’t be upset and that people are just talking, etc…
Then, while Malachy was on the computer, his uncled IM’d from his Blackberry, so I had Malachy take a break to IM him. I sat on the couch while he typed away. I gave him suggestions on what he could type, but he typed what he wanted. This is what he had to say… At first, he didn’t finish the word “UPSET,” so I told him he could retype it. Instead, he thought he should just add the letters on the next line. Later on, I showed Shien and she asked, “What’s GN?” I told her, “Good Night. Your son decided to just type GN on his own…” Ai ya! 😉

Time Out for Lights Off!

We have the shades down in our bedroom, so it’s usually still pretty dark when we get up in the morning. On weekends, it’s almost always Malachy waking us up, but on weekdays, it’s usually the other way around. We usually try to get him up by drawing the shades to brighten up the room. Once in a while, I’ll turn on the halogen with the remote light switch, so it gets REALLY bright. When I do that, Malachy usually quickly gets up out of bed, grabs the remote switch to turn the lights off, and jumps back into bed.
Earlier in the week, I turned on the lights, and he immediately turn off the lights. Then he said, “Daddy, didn’t you read my sign?!” I hadn’t noticed. He said, “Read it!” He had stuck a piece of paper on the nightstand (located between his bed and ours), and it read, “DO NOT EVER TURN ON LIGHT SWICH!” Unbelievable! 😉
I believe it was over 6 months ago that his uncle had joked around with him saying that he would sleep in Malachy’s bed if he didn’t go to bed. Believe it or not, that worked a few times. Eventually, I told him he could make a sign to say that it was his bed and for him only. The power of writing… 😉

Time Out for Wake-Up Calls

Food Visions...

What are Malachy’s favorite two words, when waking up, besides “Good Morning?”
This morning, not only did he say he was hungry, but he said his whole body was empty. We read him a children’s book on the digestive system. (Yes, they do have children’s books on that now! 😉 ) This morning, as I was barely awake, he was calling out, “Daddy, I’m hungry. My whole body is empty. I have nothing in my esophagus!” I don’t think I learned about the esophagus until HIGH SCHOOL! Unbelievable! 😉
Sometimes, he wakes up with “food visions”. 🙂 The other morning, he was telling me about his latest dessert vision. My dad had brought some Turkey Hill vanilla and chocolate ice cream along with some premium lemon and cherry ice, which he had for the first time the night before. YUMMY! So, he was telling me how he pictured a spoonful of vanilla ice cream on one side next to some ice on the other side, topped with some M&Ms, and a Pizzelle on top, AND it had to be in his ice cream bowl. We’ve made similar things for him, but he owned this one. So, what did we do? On this one, Mommy made his wish came true! There’s nothing like the excitement of having a wish come true, is there? 😉